I Wrote a Song: To Be or Not To Be

 

To Be or Not To Be

 

Scotch stained apologies

never guilty of sin.

Always free from obligation

Never have to pay again,

never have to pay again.

Fly away to income,

never working like days past.

Always telling how to perform,

your truth will never last.

Never last,

Never last,

Never last,

Never last.

Forever the victim

and,

never the prey.

The race is to happy

but,

boss will never pay.

The time is yesterday,

The time is yesterday.

Everything was such a dream,

such a dream.

The time is now, was yesterday,

a wasted scream.

Such a wasted dream,

a wasted scream,

wasted dream.

Tomorrow brings happiness

sorrow always wins.

The morrow will be the best

today never wins.

Never wins, never wins,

never wins,

will never win.

Home will come someday,

to no one to see.

The last has left for good,

my own self free.

The emptiness inside me,

was always clear, always clear.

The wall has hit me,

now only fear.

Only fear, only fear,

only fear.

fear.

Written by: G. L. Paulk

©2009

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Generation X to Generation Crap

I was watching World War II in HD last night on History Channel.  I realized while watching how fortunate I am, meaning my generation, that I haven’t had to undergo the tragedy that is war.  I have always been a World War II appreciator and have always know that that generation was probably the greatest generation of real “men and women” we will know for many years to come.  We truly were a country united in a cause to stop, at that time, Nazi, Japanese and Italian combined efforts from spreading the unfortunate, unrealistic, word of communism from taking over the world, and at the same time , ending the extermination of a race of people from a planet that nobody ( or everybody ) owns.  One man, Hitler, was so obsessed with world domination and such a salesman that he was able to conquer most of Europe and parts of Africa and Russia.  The United States was the only country that Hitler declared war on.  His vision was to take South America first then work his way north toward the 48 states.  Fortunately  he never reached this goal, mainly for the American and British ability to force the Germans out of Africa in Tunisia.  These are movies and stories you don’t hear much about.  Yes, it’s common sense that Americans and the Brits fought the Nazi’s in Africa, but not as popular as the fighting in Nazi occupied Europe.  Maybe it’s all the sand, or lack of connection to Europe due to the northern African geography, but prudent and essential none the less.  Proof being that the future wants of one power hungry Austrian’s plans were thwarted based on materials (a map)  captured by American forces.  Hitler, according to many historians wanted to be a painter.  I wish he would have been.  I’ve seen his painting and they are very good.  Unfortunately he passed that opportunity with world domination.  I wonder is Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin Ladin had similar aspirations, or were just power hungry dictators with money and time to burn.  Either way they were able to make things burn.  I’m not sure why anyone acts the way they do, but I’m sure the there are good salesmen for every cause.  Wether new or used cars, or real estate with similar or different cultured people, there will be no land with truly harmonious people.

So, why generation crap?  Because most of us are so self-centered and unwilling to see beyond our own nose the extent and efforts of our past that has provided our present.  It’s so easy to be selfish and not really look into the eyes of others, especially those of a different culture and many miles away.  And why be surprised, look at how we react to our local problems.  Homelessness, education, disasters, etc…  The fight has gone nowhere.  ”Fight” doesn’t even describe how to react anymore.  It’s time we stop policing the world and maybe stay home for a while.  Nobody likes us anymore, except the Chinese because we buy everything from them.  Stay home, live in the now and take care of what’s truly important.  Family, humanity, freedom ( I know, freedom isn’t what it used to be, but that’s another story), honor.  Honor.  Honor is a word seldom heard anymore.  Selfish is the new honor.

 

That’s just me.  Any thoughts?

 

Without civility, we are just animals.

Time To Turn off the Dark

There’s a lot of dark attitude floating around lately.  Red vs. Blue, Black vs. White, Gay vs. Straight, Fiction vs. Truth, Fox vs. CNN, etc….  I could go on listing opposites for hours.  The same thought keeps coming back at me whenever I see these stories:  We’re all pink on the inside.  I don’t know where I heard that or if I made it up, but it makes a lot of since to me.  What that statement means to me is that we are all the same no matter how it looks to our eyes.  It’s our culture, heritage, education, up-bringing, and any other of numerous reasons why we “act” the way we do toward one another.  The truth is that we are all, for lack of a better word, selfish.  We just want everyone to “act” the way we want them to, say what we want to hear and do what we expect them to do, as well as, hear what we say and except it however we expect you to except it.  Whew!.  But, of coarse, this is not how it is.  We are what we are and they are what they are.  I just try to listen instead of react and hope for the same in return.  Although it’s happening less and less, I still will try to give the benefit of doubt and just keep smiling and saying thank you and self deprecate, as usual, so that they feel better even though I’m the one who should be upset.  It’s not all about me and it’s not all about you.

That’s just how I feel.

Without civility, we are all just animals.

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I Held a Door Today

Sorry for the taking so long for a new post.  I’ve done some traveling, as well as, other business to take care of.

Anyway,

I held a door today.  It wasn’t my first time holding a door, nor shall it be the last.  But what really eats at me is the fewer and fewer people appreciating the door being held.  I was taught to be kind and always “try” to be the better man, especially when doing things for others.  So, I’m at Target for some routine items, on the way in, as usual, there a lot of people behind me, but this time I was the first to the entrance, so I opened the door, stepped to the side, and opened the door as wide as it would go while sporting a very nice smile.  Not one, two, three, but seven people walked through the door I was holding, and not one said thank you.  I wasn’t even looking for a thank you, just eye contact and a small smirk, or a nod, or some bodily gesture showing just a inkling of appreciation for me holding the door.  Now I’m not a big crybaby and I’m not about to go into a rant about how the whole world is against me, why me, what about me, me, me, me.  But what about civility, what about humanity or just plain niceness.  Of course all of this ran through my head the whole 15 seconds that passed while holding the door.  I, for some reason, knew that I wasn’t going to get a thank you of any sort by the time the last person swaggered through.  I knew I would be angry inside, and of course did the, I admit, irritating “YOU’RE WELCOME!”  sarcastic prologue after the last person entered.  In the past that would have gotten me a, “Oh thank you” or ” Sorry, my head was somewhere else” response, but this time nothing, nada, zip, zero.  I really was hit hard by the reality of the now.  Present day kindness is on the way out, and I would say gone, but I can’t say that yet.  Just after the seventh person walked through, and I muttered my “YOU’RE WELCOME!”, I followed behind, but before I could get through the door, I saw in the corner of my eye, a little, slow, white headed, lady easily in her 200’s come slipping one foot in front of the other across the zebra pattern of the crosswalk between the parking lot and the store.  I decided, even thought I technically could have gone it, to what for her.  I closed the door so I wouldn’t let any more A/C out and watched her slowly make her way toward my general direction.  She was headed towards the exit, so I waited anyway until she made her correction.  She could have gotten in through the exit, but a woman with her cart load of diapers and babies came through the middle and stopped, inconvenienced by the old woman, huffing and puffing until they made eye contact and the older woman made her navigational correction and headed my direction.  I was even more stunned by this than anything else that had happened so far.  This little ancient women, probably someones mother, probably someones grandmother, great grandmother.  I thought of my own mother, who by no means is perfect, and how people may treat her day to day.  Then I thought about how I treat people day to day.  I actually try to treat people nicely.  I thought about civility and humanity and how easy it is to say “thank you” or  ” right this way” or “hello” for that matter.  The old woman made it to me a few seconds later, I opened the door for her and let her in to Target.  She walked by me, no smile, no “thank you” and headed straight for the carts.  I didn’t mind.  She deserved to have that door held for her, hell, everyone should have the door held for them.  It’s just a courtesy that should be a no brainer.  I went behind her a grabbed my cart next, and as I passed the old woman, she looked up at me and smiled.  She then said in this little mousy voice, “You look like my ex-husband”, I giggled and and said “I’m sorry” which made her laugh.  My day was made.  It completely changed my attitude.  Just this little exchange made me happy, I could have stayed irritable for the rest of my shopping trip or day, but because I held a door, I was giving a smile and a laugh.  Stop, wait, hold, smile, laugh, exchange a little.  It’s better than nothing.  Civility, I’ve said it before and I will say it many times again.  ” Without civility, we are all animals.”  We didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to be animals.

That’s just my thoughts, what do you think?

GLPaulk

I Like Movies

Have you noticed how bad movies have become over the last few years?  Except for the occasional “Slumdog Millionaire” , “The Secret Live’s of Others” , etc… most of it is crap.  I love the USA, but when it comes to the film industry, one of the things the entire world associates with the US, when did we become such greedy bastards?  I know, I know, there are a lot of films that everyone thinks are great, but those are the exception.  I’m talking about the blockbusters.  Remember when the summer brought “E.T.”, “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, “Star Wars”, and so on?  Now days, we go because we are told to go, not because we want to see it.  I enjoyed “Transformers” when it came out, but I didn’t even bother seeing the sequel.  I could tell by the previews that it was not going to live up to the original.  And don’t get me started on previews or “trailers” as they are refered to now days.  They should be called “spoilers”.  Anyway, back to the sequel, it still went on to make hundred’s of millions of dollars, still even today.  It’s not making all that money because it’s good, it’s making all that because we are all programed now days to just go and be blown away by the amazing action and sound puking out of the screen and speakers.  There is no story anymore.  I didn’t even see the movie and no it sucks.  It got panned by the critics and still made more money than the best movies do.  All I’m asking is, why not put the effort into the story that is put into the sales pitch?  Maybe it’s just me.  I’ve become the old man that complains about everything the “punk” kids do and like now days.  Oh wait! I’m only 37 years old.  It really is that damn rock n’ roll music and the MTV that’s rotting the brains of our youth.  I use to love MTV, when it was just that, MUSIC TELEVISION, for those of you too young to realize that’s what MTV stands for.  Now it’s all scripted reality bullshit!  Come on!  We are getting stupider and stupider and being entertained by the wrong stuff.  We don’t have to think anymore, we just have to watch, and react.  Reacting without emotion, but with what we are to believe is actual satisfaction.  That’s bullshit too!  It’s like accepting that a Big Mac is the best hamburger in the world.  Well sorry to burst some bubbles, but it’s not, you just think it is because that’s what you are used too and expect to be the best.  Turn off the TV, read something other than a magazine and listen to yourself for once.  You would be surprised by the quality of entertainment you can find if you took the time to look.

May be it’s just me.

“War’s come and go. What remains are the values of culture.”

Money doesn’t by happiness.  It buys a nice car for you to drive around in while looking for happiness.  I’m not rich.  Or am I?  I define rich as having money left over after all the bills are paid and someone to share it with.  So I may not be a millionaire, but , to me, I’m rich.  There is to much value placed upon possessions.  We should be happy to have a roof over our head, instead so many people are obsessed with material things that they will never be happy.  I love TV and radio and magazines and to read and what not, but I also have the ability to see both sides to everything.  Or at least I think I do.  Anyway, it’s constantly hammered into us that we “have to” have this or “must” own that, in order to fit in.  If anything it makes all of us more of an outcast because we are digging our own graves with material things and depriving ourselves of what really matters: companionship, love, peace, shelter.  There is not a gaming system, TV, diamond, car, computer, or hooker, out there that can give you what you really need.  I once heard Ronald Reagan say, ” War’s come and go.  What remains are the values of culture.”,  and boy, it took me a long time to really process that quote.  I heard that quote in the song “War” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood.  I’ve always been a fan of the song, but one of those people that listened to the music instead of the words.  It really struck me once I really though about that line.  Culture.  What does it mean to you?  We have become so removed from civility, that culture seems to be slipping away and replaced by fad.  I don’t wont to loose myself in what is preached to me in magazines and TV.  It’s a war we are all losing and a fight few are willing to wage.  It’s much easier to go with the flow, but what about civility?  It isn’t a fad and never will be.  Don’t let our culture slip away.  Be nice, be patient, be friendly, be civil.  Civil.

That’s just me.

My Life, (a Haiku)

What to make of me.

I do not know what to say.

My life is unsound.

Fut the whuk?

Why is it that when you need input or help, it’s when you’re ignored the most?  When someone wants help with moving furniture or hanging a picture, no problem, but when you are in desperate need of attention, sad, unhappy, mad, etc… Suddenly nobody is available to help, listen, or even act like they care.  All of the sudden it’s a burden.  God forbid you need something more than muscle.  How do you handle these situations?  Do you help, or “dance” around the issue like so many people seem to do, very well I may add, now days.  You can blame anyone you want, but how you tuned out is not your families fault, because we all have the ability to decide who we become, but we all need help sometimes.  So, do you dance, or step up?

Unhappyholic

I made up a word today.  An “unhappyholic” looks for any reason to be happy, but find it’s much easier to be unhappy.  What’s up with that?  I hate being unhappy, but I’m good at it.  It’s easy to complain and too much work to find the good in any situation.  Believe me, I try.   I really do!  Some people drink, some do drugs, some whine and bitch, I guess that’s what I’m doing, but no one ever complains about being too happy.  You ever met a “happyholic”?, okay, you probably have, but no one likes them, ever.  It’s easier to complain because we all relate with negativity, and are always irritated by people who have nothing but positive things happen to them.  Sorry if I come across a bit harsh on the happyholics, but sometime’s it’s very frustrating when you look for good, but are constantly beat down by the bad, negative, stupid, sucking things that happen to the most of us daily.

Any thought’s?

That’s just me, today.